Understanding Christian Love – Part 2
1 John 3:11-18 (13-15)
May 29, 2022
We have been now several weeks in the 3rd chapter of 1 John.
We have likened it to a paternity test.
In the first 10 verses John gave the first area of examination which was PURITY or practical righteousness.
He gave the attributes of the potential fathers:
• Jesus (3:5) “in Him there is no sin”
• Devil (3:8) “the devil has sinned from the beginning”
So the first dividing attribute was sin.
• Jesus never did it.
• The Devil always does it.
John then told us to look at our lives with one penetrating question.
Who are you more like?
We looked at our practical righteousness to determine our spiritual pedigree.
Starting in the end of verse 10 John gave a second criteria by which we examine our spiritual pedigree.
1 John 3:10 “By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother.”
So the next segment is our BROTHERLY LOVE.
And again John gives the attributes of the potential fathers.
• Devil (3:12) “Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother”
• Jesus (3:16) “He laid down His life for us;”
So the devil slays his brother, Jesus saves His brother.
And again the obvious question is: Who are you more like?
So we are currently examining our brotherly love.
And again we want to make sure we understand the point of John.
John is NOT primarily preaching about love as that which you should do. (Certainly you should)
John is preaching about love as that which Christians do.
In other words, John is speaking about
Brotherly love as revealing fruit.
You can tell if you are a child of God
By whether or not you love your brother.
So just as we did with righteousness, we would also make a definitive statement regarding love and say: CHRISTIANS LOVE THEIR BROTHER.
And it is this love which we have begun to examine.
We saw the first point last week:
#1 LOVE IS THE EXPECTATION OF CHRISTIANITY
1 John 3:11-12
John called it “the message which you have heard from the beginning”
• This has always been the chief expectation of the Christian call.
• There is no genuine form of Christianity that does not include brotherly love.
• From day one, this has been the expectation for those who trust in Christ.
And the reason is because no attribute better describes
God’s behavior toward humanity than love.
God loves humanity.
God loves even His enemies.
God certainly love His redeemed.
If we are to claim to be children of God we must also walk in love.
This has always been the expectation.
And John even helped us DIFFERENTIATE that love a little bit.
He told us to love, but “not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother.”
• We talked about Cain and how he brought an offering of works.
• We talked about how Abel brought an offering of faith.
And we talked about that since Abel showed Cain up
And in a manner of speaking condemned him,
Cain chose to sacrifice his brother for his own self-interest.
THAT IS NOT LOVE.
Christian love sacrifices self for the good of the brother,
It does not slay his brother for the good of himself.
Christians save their brother, they don’t slay them.
Love is the Expectation of Christianity.
This morning we move on to the second point.
#2 LOVE IS THE EXHIBITION OF NEW LIFE
1 John 3:13-15
NEW LIFE has really been one of John’s main points of emphasis.
We remember earlier in the chapter when
John made a big deal about the reality of being “born of God”
1 John 3:9-10 “No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother.”
John mentioned being “born of God” which refers to the new birth.
• It is reference to what Ezekiel spoke about when he said God would wash you with clean water and put His Spirit within you.
• Jesus referred to it as being “born again”
And the simple point is this:
When you get saved you immediately get this new life.
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.”
You get new life through God’s Holy Spirit.
And the question on the table before us is:
HOW WILL I RECOGNIZE THIS NEW LIFE?
Well the first was that it will produce RIGHTEOUS LIVING.
The second is that it will produce BROTHERLY LOVE.
And it is such a reliable fruit that John will remind us many times that
If you don’t have love then you do not have this new life.
1 John 4:7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”
So you understand again John’s point.
If you do not have brotherly love then you do not have this new life
Which Christ gives to those who trust Him.
That is why we say: CHRISTIANS LOVE THEIR BROTHER
(not: Christians should love their brother)
But again we want some CLARITY here.
And I have to tell you that I think what John says here
Might be the most important couple of verses
That the 21st Century church needs to hear regarding love.
We are talking about how love is the exhibition of new life.
And to that end there are a couple of points I want to make
To help you identify whether or not you have this love.
1) THE OLD LIFE HATES THE NEW LIFE
By “old life” I mean the life of flesh.
• The life of the unredeemed.
• The life that is still enslaved in sin.
• The life that is still at enmity with God.
By “new life” I mean the life of the Spirit.
• The life which Christ gave you at redemption.
• The life which has been poured into you.
• The life that has made you a child of God.
And I’ll say it again: “The Old Life Hates The New Life”
Now look at Verse 13.
“Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.”
Boy let’s just stop right there and chew on that a moment.
On one hand we have the reality that
A Christian can actually be hated by the world.
And on the other hand the reality that
It is apparently unsurprising when they are hated.
So on the surface we would simply remind you that:
RECEIVING THE NEW LIFE
DOES NOT PRODUCE WORLDLY FAVOR
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
We talked earlier in the chapter about how God’s love is a redeeming love.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
1 John 3:1 “See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.”
Remember we talked about how the world used to love us, but after God’s love was poured upon us they no longer recognized us?
We noted then that God’s love must change us in some way.
When God set His love on us, it made us no longer attractive to the world.
Now we go A STEP FARTHER and realize
That when God manifests His love within us
It actually causes us to be hated by the world.
And this should NOT surprise you.
1 Peter 4:12 “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you;”
Now let me tell you why the 21st century church needs to hear this.
Somewhere over the course of time
The church has begun to allow the world to deliver the final verdict
On whether or not we love like Christ.
THAT IS TO SAY THAT
It has come all to common place for Christians to go out and behave a certain way in the world and then we let the world determine whether or not our action was loving.
And if what we did or what we said “feels” loving to the world then they say, “Thank you for loving me like Jesus.”
And if what we did or what we said “feels” unloving to the world then they say, “You don’t love me at all like Jesus”
And the church has sort of willingly accepted that as status quo.
And so the measure of whether or not we are loving people
Is whether or not the world sort of “checks our box” and says we are.
You know, whether or not the world would give us our
“Loves Like Jesus” merit badge.
AND WHAT THIS HAS PRODUCED IS THAT
We no longer operate according to God’s definition of love,
But we instead operate according to the world’s definition of love.
DOES THIS MAKE SENSE?
Let me say it another way.
If we do exactly what God commands and the world deems that unloving,
• Then all too often the church will abandon God’s command in favor of what the world wants
• Because we are more concerned with being perceived by them as “loving”
• Than we are with being obedient to what God actually says love is.
I remember years ago when Carrie and I attended a church in Stephenville after we were first married.
You know those awards that go around Lubbock that you see posted in various businesses that will say “Lubbock’s Best…”
Well they did that in Erath county too.
And apparently one year our church won “Best Church of Erath County”
I remember the pastor showing me that plaque with this half-cocked grin like I was supposed to applaud the award and his humility for being so reluctant to show it to me.
I responded: “Great! The world thinks we are the best church.”
I didn’t know at the time that the year before he had won “Best Pastor of Erath County”, but you’ll understand why his face quickly turned sour.
Where did we ever come up with the idea that
The world would be a good judge of whether or not
The church followed Christ correctly?
THAT IS SO FOOLISH!
And yet that is precisely what happens in the department of love.
We allow the world to tell us
Whether or not we are loving them like Christ.
And if they say we are, then we pat ourselves on the back.
And if they say we aren’t, then we must need to figure out how to do it better.
LET ME TELL YOU WHY THIS IS A DISASTROUS FORMULA
It is built on 2 faulty presumptions.
ONE IS THAT the world actually knows Christ and what His love looks like.
Why would we ever think that one who is an enemy of Christ would have any true knowledge of Him at all?
That makes no sense.
• They don’t know Him.
• They don’t read His word, they don’t commune in prayer, they don’t follow
Him, they don’t have His Spirit, they are not being conformed into His image.
Yet we assume they recognize what is and what isn’t Christ-like love?
That’s a faulty presumption.
THE OTHER FAULTY PRESUMPTION IS THAT when they did experience Christ’s love that they liked it.
And that is not true either.
They, every day of their life,
Have done nothing but reject the love of Christ.
The world wouldn’t recognize Christ’s love
If it was poured out on their head
And every time it has been poured out on their head, they hated it.
So why in the world would the church let the world determine whether or not we are being loving?
DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
AND YET when we go out and “the worlds hates” us
ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS WE DO IS
WE ASSUME WE MUST NOT BE ACTING LIKE JESUS.
As though the world knows or even wants the love of Jesus.
• THEY DON’T!
• THEY NEVER HAVE!
John 8:39-47 “They answered and said to Him, “Abraham is our father.” Jesus said to them, “If you are Abraham’s children, do the deeds of Abraham. “But as it is, you are seeking to kill Me, a man who has told you the truth, which I heard from God; this Abraham did not do. “You are doing the deeds of your father.” They said to Him, “We were not born of fornication; we have one Father: God.” Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and have come from God, for I have not even come on My own initiative, but He sent Me. “Why do you not understand what I am saying? It is because you cannot hear My word. “You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies. “But because I speak the truth, you do not believe Me. “Which one of you convicts Me of sin? If I speak truth, why do you not believe Me? “He who is of God hears the words of God; for this reason you do not hear them, because you are not of God.”
Do you see that?
Here is the most truthful and loving Man who has ever lived
Standing in front of the world…
And they hated Him! They wanted to kill Him!
They DIDN’T SAY, (as the world would have us believe) “Oh, we feel Your great love for us. Thank You for loving us so wonderfully.”
They didn’t say that to Jesus, and they won’t say it to you either.
If you love men like Jesus loves men
Then they will hate you like they hated Him.
John 15:18-25 “If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. “If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you. “Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A slave is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also. “But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know the One who sent Me. “If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. “He who hates Me hates My Father also. “If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would not have sin; but now they have both seen and hated Me and My Father as well. “But they have done this to fulfill the word that is written in their Law, ‘THEY HATED ME WITHOUT A CAUSE.’”
See, the love of Jesus is PURE LOVE.
• The love of Jesus “does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth”
• The love of Jesus told men to leave their sin.
• The love of Jesus exposed their heart idols.
Do you remember that Rich Young Ruler?
Jesus exposed his greed and covetousness which was buried in his heart.
• No one else had ever seen it.
• That man was a synagogue ruler.
• He had been able to conceal his idolatry from everyone else
• AND JESUS PUT A SPOTLIGHT ON IT.
WHY?
Mark 10:21 “Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”
Why did Jesus expose him? He loved him.
Did the Rich Young Ruler appreciate that love? No, he left.
“Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.”
John 16:1-3 “These things I have spoken to you so that you may be kept from stumbling. “They will make you outcasts from the synagogue, but an hour is coming for everyone who kills you to think that he is offering service to God. “These things they will do because they have not known the Father or Me.”
The church has bought into the lie that
If we live enough like Jesus in the world
Then we will know that because the world will love us.
BUT THAT IS BASED UPON THE ASSUMPTION THAT
THE WORLD LOVED JESUS, AND THEY DIDN’T!
LISTEN, being loved by the world is NOT an indicator salvation.
Luke 6:22-23, 26 “Blessed are you when men hate you, and ostracize you, and insult you, and scorn your name as evil, for the sake of the Son of Man. “Be glad in that day and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven. For in the same way their fathers used to treat the prophets…Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for their fathers used to treat the false prophets in the same way.”
THE SIMPLE POINT HERE
Love is definitely the exhibition of new life,
But don’t expect the world to be the one who affirms it.
Brotherly love is not defined by the world.
God defines what true brotherly love looks like.
Want me to show you some examples of it?
Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.”
• Brotherly love is unwilling to allow a brother to live in that which God will judge.
• Brotherly love will take a brother aside and say, “You can’t do that”
James 5:19-20 “My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”
I CRINGE SO OFTEN TODAY with the type of absolutely false love that is handed out even by the church.
I see people celebrate all sorts of things on social media.
I see someone in a homosexual relationship post it on social media
• And inevitably there will be someone who claims to be a Christian post “So
happy for you!”
I see a couple decide to live together outside of wedlock, in blatant sexual immorality. They’ll post in social media
• And some supposed Christian will say, “How fun, congratulations on
starting your life together!”
I see an unwed girl post pictures of how she’s going to have a baby
• And some supposed Christian will say, “Congratulations! So happy for
you!”
And the world says, “NOW THAT’S LOVING LIKE JESUS DID!”
REALLY? (That’s how Jesus loved sinners; by affirming them?)
LET ME REMIND YOU AGAIN.
GOD’S LOVE IS REDEEMING LOVE, IT IS NOT ENABLING LOVE.
DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?
Now I’m NOT SAYING you should get on social media and call those people out, that’s hardly the place. But Christian love urges that person to repent.
Christ tells those in sexually immoral relationships the same thing He told the Woman caught in adultery:
John 8:11 “Go. From now on sin no more.”
Christ tells those who have reaped the consequences of sinful choices, the same thing He told the Cripple at the Bethesda pool:
John 5:14 “do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse happens to you.”
Jesus told the crowds:
Matthew 4:17 “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”
Why would He be so direct?
Why would He so boldly tell them to stop?
BECAUSE HE LOVED THEM
(really loved them)
Love is the absolute exhibition of new life,
But make sure you’re identifying the right kind of love.
We are NOT talking about what the world calls love.
We ARE talking about the kind of love Christ has for sinners.
The kind of love that loved them too much to leave them in their sin.
The kind of love that will get you hated in the world.
“Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.”
THE OLD LIFE HATES THE NEW LIFE
• It convicts them. (As Abel did Cain)
• It confronts them.
• They hate that new righteous change.
• They hate the love that corrects them.
That is not a shocking thing.
Being loved by the world is NOT a fruit of genuine Christianity.
THEN WHAT IS?
(14) “We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death.”
And this is the second point I’d make to you this morning.
2) THE NEW LIFE LOVES THE NEW LIFE
Unredeemed people hate people who CONFRONT their sin
And EXPOSE their idolatry and CALL them to repentance.
But redeemed people love people who do that.
• Redeemed people love those who walk in righteousness.
• They love people who challenge them through their testimony.
• They love those who warn them and call them to purity.
THEY LOVE RIGHTEOUSNESS.
It is such an obvious distinction.
And this is the criteria by which we know if we have the new life or not.
DO I LOVE THOSE WHO LOVE RIGHTEOUSNESS?
(Or do those people get on my nerves?)
“We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren.”
That is to say we love to receive Christ-like love from the brethren
And we love to show Christ-like love to the brethren.
Now John is here PRETTY GENERIC.
In a moment he’s going to show you exactly what he means; namely the self-sacrificing aspect of love.
• That we, like Jesus, “ought to lay down our lives for the brethren”
• And that we should love “in deed and truth.”
When you are willing to lay down your life for the brethren,
That’s how you know you have been given new life.
Being loved is not the measure of Christ-likeness, loving others is.
And because we’re on the thread let me give you a concept of this
That perhaps you’ve not thought about before.
We just talked about how Jesus confronted sin and exposed sinners
And called them to repentance.
THAT WAS LOVE, THAT’S WHY HE DID IT.
But do you know what it is when we affirm sinners instead of calling them to repentance?
That is a terrible form of selfishness.
(That is self-love)
You and I know full well why we don’t like to confront sinners.
We don’t want to do it because in the world’s eyes
It will make us look like the bad guy.
They will hate me if I confront them.
They won’t like me.
I’ll be ostracized if I don’t affirm them.
YOU KNOW THAT’S THE TRUTH.
And so the motive behind
Why you affirm them instead of confronting them
Is not because you love them, but because you love yourself.
You would rather they get judged than you get hated.
At that moment you will sacrifice them instead of yourself.
And you do it craftily and deceitfully by pretending to bless them.
That is NOT an attribute of Christ.
That is an attribute of Satan.
Charles Spurgeon once said:
“The most shameful way of cursing another is by pretending to bless him.”
The world may call it love.
But the only kind of love it is, is self-love.
That is not the love we are called to give to the brethren.
You want A PICTURE of Christian love to the sinning brother?
Galatians 6:1 “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.”
The name of the game is restoration.
• Gently? Absolutely!
• Humbly? It better be!
• But you restore him, you don’t affirm him.
Jude 21-23 “keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting anxiously for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life. And have mercy on some, who are doubting; save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh.”
If a brother is on fire, you don’t say, “Those flames look so good on you!”
• You snatch them out of the fire.
• You throw off that burning jacket and you stomp it on the ground.
THAT IS CHRISTIAN LOVE.
And “We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren.”
• Do you?
• Do you love your brother?
What about when role is reversed (and it will be) ?
What about when you are the one who messed up and it is your brother who comes to restore you?
Do you hate him for it?
Or do you love him for it?
“We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren.”
DO YOU LOVE YOUR BROTHER?
“He who does not abides in death.”
If you don’t love your brother there is no new life in you.
LOVE IS THE EXHIBITION OF NEW LIFE
And John goes on.
(15) “Everyone who hates his brothers is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”
Now we are back to the word “hates”
Interesting word.
Often times “hate” is lifted up as the opposite of love.
It’s really not.
Hate is the absence of love.
Hate is actually a word that is used to measure our love for another.
Let me give you a passage to show you what I mean.
Luke 14:25-26 “Now large crowds were going along with Him; and He turned and said to them, “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.”
Jesus was speaking in exaggerated language there.
• His point was that the love you have for Him must be so great
• That it would actually make your love for everyone else
• Seem like it was non-existent.
Hate isn’t really the opposite of love
So much as it is the absence of love.
It is when instead of sacrificing yourself,
You withhold that love and instead allow your brother to be sacrificed.
Later in verse 17 John defines hatred a little differently.
He says, “But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him…”
• There hatred is described as the closing of one’s heart.
• It is the absence of love.
• It is the refusal to sacrifice self.
And John says:
“Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer;”
That’s a bold statement.
“Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer;”
Where is he getting that?
He’s getting it from the example of Cain who was a child of the evil one.
You know Cain was a murderer
Because he lifted up his hand and murdered his brother.
In all reality Cain was a murderer long before he ever lifted up his hand.
Cain had no love for his brother.
Cain hated his brother.
Matthew 5:21-22 “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”
Do you understand that?
• Murder is of the heart, not the hand.
• All the hand does is expose the heart.
So all hatred…
All moments of withholding love…
Those moments reveal the same evil heart that Cain had.
That is the very heart of the unredeemed.
• They withhold love from others.
• They refuse to sacrifice self for others.
• It is hatred and it is not a fruit of redemption.
The new life which is given us in Christ
Exhibits itself by its willingness to sacrifice for our brother.
And again I remind you,
True love might not be called true love by a world that hates true love.
But that’s not how we measure it.
We measure it by our willingness to sacrifice
Our comfort, our safety, our reputation, our provision, and anything else
In order to benefit our brother.
That kind of love is the exhibition of new life.
Next time we’ll look at the final point about this Christian love.
