Forgiving Your Brother
Matthew 18:21-25
March 11, 2012
As you know we are presently studying the sermon of Jesus
In regard to how those in the church are to relate to one another.
And up to this point Jesus has given two attributes
That must exist among those who are in His church.
1) HUMILITY
Prompted by an argument between the disciples as to who was the greatest,
Jesus revealed that true greatness is found in humility.
You must “humble” yourself and become like a child
If you even want to enter the kingdom, let alone be great in it.
2) PURITY
And this we have seen on several levels.
• There was the purity that goes to great lengths to keep from causing a brother
to stumble.
• There was the personal purity that would rather cut off a hand or gouge out an
eye than commit sin.
• There was the congregational purity that we saw last week, that is willing to
confront the sinning brother and see that he either repents, or is removed from
the fellowship until he does.
It is obvious that in order for the church to effectively operate
It is necessary that there be humility and purity.
This morning we look at the final piece that Jesus outlines
For the church to operate the way that He intended.
3) FORGIVENESS
• We are all human.
• We all make mistakes.
• We all at times act selfish.
• And we all wrong each other from time to time.
I’m sure you wouldn’t have to think very far back
To find the last person that offended you.
And if you are honest you probably don’t have to think much farther
To find the last time you offended someone else.
It just happens.
It would be great if once we were saved that old man was instantly dead and sin never had to be experienced again, but that just isn’t the case.
We still live in the flesh.
Romans 7:18-19 “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.”
This reality even prompted Paul to cry:
Romans 7:24 “Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?”
Because we still live in a sinful human flesh,
At times we still make mistakes.
Undoubtedly this is why the concept of discipline and restoration
Is so important as Jesus revealed earlier.
But because we still sin,
The reality is that often times we sin against each other.
I wish it didn’t happen, but it does.
And therefore, it is necessary that if a church is to exist and be effective
Then there must be a measure of forgiveness.
John MacArthur noted:
“Nothing so characterizes the new nature of Christians as forgiveness, because nothing so characterizes the nature of their Lord.”
He went on to add that “Christians are at their best when they are forgiving.”
Forgiveness is as Christian as it gets.
And this is the issue that arises once more in our text.
3 things
#1 THE EXHORTATION
Matthew 18:21-22
Again, we are thankful for Peter.
He simply asks the questions that we all want the answers too, but are too afraid to ask.
“Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?”
It is obvious that Peter understood the point of the Lord
In the preceding verses.
God is in the business of reconciling sinners.
They must leave their sin, but God still wants them reconciled.
And all that was fine with Peter at least on God’s behalf,
But the reality actually got Peter thinking.
WHAT IF THEY SIN AGAINST ME?
As Peter learned how sincere God is in desiring to reconcile sinners,
Peter understood that this theology will inevitably trickle down to him.
And it caused Peter to panic.
What if someone tries to abuse the system?
We’ve all heard the statements about cheap grace.
(P.J. out at the camp called it “Sloppy Agape”)
You know, where someone knows there are no repercussions
So they just keep on abusing the system.
Romans 6:1-2 “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?”
And again
Romans 6:15 “What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be!”
But we all understand the mindset.
When I was a kid I used to have this mental image of God’s chalk board
In which every time a person sinned, a mark was added,
And every time a person asked for forgiveness all the marks were erased.
I even remember purposely putting a few marks
And then laughing when I asked God to forgive me.
The problems with that sort of theology are obvious.
But none the less, the reality of such mindsets has Peter worried.
“how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?”
I’m worried that my brothers will take advantage of me
If I just adopt this super reconciliation mindset and forgive everything.
So Peter is concerned about being cheated by a crafty brother.
And what is more, Peter even has what he considers to be a fair answer.
“Up to seven times?”
And I can imagine a smug smile rising on Peter’s face
As he gave what he thought to be more than generous terms.
But at the same time Peter was looking for a loophole
In which he could put an end to abuse and tell a serial sinner to get lost.
He is concerned about being cheated repeatedly
And just having to absorb the pain.
WE UNDERSTAND THAT DON’T WE
See for all the talk about forgiveness being free, we know better.
There is always a price for forgiveness.
It either costs the offender to make it right,
Or it costs the offended to let it go.
If someone cheats you out of $100 dollars.
It either costs you to absorb the $100 or it costs them to pay it back.
Forgiveness means you choose to pay the price.
And that is why we struggle with it.
That is why it is so difficult.
It is easier to carry the grudge.
And that is what Peter is worried about.
I could let him cheat me 7 times, but surely at some point I don’t have to take the abuse any longer right?
Well, let’s see our Lord’s response.
(22) “Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
Can’t you see Jesus here?
“Up to seven times, huh?”
You didn’t hear that from Me.
“I do not say you, up to seven times…”
In other words, I don’t know where you got a theology that limits forgiveness, but you didn’t get that theology from Me.
I’m not the One who taught you
That a time would come when forgiveness expired.
I mean we know Jesus.
Luke 23:34 “But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”
Jesus never applied a limit to forgiveness, and aren’t we grateful!
In fact Jesus view on forgiveness is something like this:
“I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
In other words, there is no limit to My forgiveness.
• I am willing to forgive
• I am willing to pay the price
• And I am willing to pay it every time it is asked of Me
And of course that is the nature of God.
He pays the price for forgiveness.
Forgiveness always comes with a cost.
Hebrews 9:22 “And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”
And it was a price God paid.
Romans 3:23-26 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus; whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness, because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed; for the demonstration, I say, of His righteousness at the present time, so that He would be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”
1 John 2:1-2 “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.”
Sin was committed and we know that the wages of that sin is death.
It required the shedding of blood.
And God could either maintain holiness and justice and force us to pay,
Or God could pay the price for us.
And that He did.
He paid the price through the blood of His Son.
Not for one sin, not for two, not even for 70 x 7.
He paid the price for forgiveness.
Now that is the exhortation of Jesus.
Peter, if you want to know My take on forgiveness it is to forgive every time they ask.
That is the exhortation
#2 THE ILLUSTRATION
Matthew 18:23-34
This is not an unfamiliar illustration, nor is it an ineffective one.
But Jesus makes a very important point to Peter.
And here is that point.
Not only should you forgive, but you should want to.
It ought to be obvious to you
As to why you need to forgive your brother.
There ought never be a time
When you think your brother doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.
And the reason is because he will never offend you
As much as you have offended God.
And so let’s look at the illustration.
1) INSURMOUNTABLE DEBT (23-27)
Here we have “a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.”
It doesn’t really do us much good to speculate as to why they were in slavery, but it is important to reveal the distinction between the two.
One is a “king” the other is a slave.
You have two here on opposite ends of the pay scale.
We don’t know how the debt occurred, but we do know that it is there.
That may have had something to do with why the man was now a slave.
And for whatever reason the king wants the account settled.
He wants to be paid back for what he is owed.
(24) “When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.”
Now let me put his debt into perspective.
• When they collected gold to cover Solomon’s temple, that was just over 8,000 talents.
• The weight of gold Solomon collected in one years was 666 talents.
1 Kings 10:14 “Now the weight of gold which came in to Solomon in one year was 666 talents of gold,”
• If you were to put it in present day scale:
1 talent was just over 15 years wages for a common laborer.
If a common laborer makes $20,000 a year, then “ten thousand talents” would equal around 3 billion dollars.
And so we are starting to get somewhere.
How does someone who makes $20,000 a year ever attempt to pay back a debt of 3 billion dollars?
If he paid his entire income every year towards the debt with no interest it would take him 150,000 years to pay it off.
• But even that really doesn’t do the point justice.
“ten thousand” translates MURIAS
And was often used as a term for an uncountable number.
It’s like saying he owed a bazillion dollars.
The point is it was an amount that this man
Could never have paid back in 1,000 lifetimes.
It was insurmountable.
(25) “But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made.”
Now that is what we call justice.
• If you owe money you can’t pay, then the bank forecloses.
• The bank repossesses and the mob breaks your fingers.
It is just, and this man is about to get a healthy dose of justice.
(26) “So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.”
Now we notice two things here.
1) He is begging for mercy
2) He is lying
There is no possible way he could ever pay off this debt,
He simply needs mercy before the king.
(27) “And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.”
• First “compassion”
• Second mercy “released him”
• Third grace “forgave him the debt”
The king didn’t have to do any of those.
By rights, the king had all the grounds needed.
This man legitimately owed him money, and he had the right to foreclose.
But compassion, mercy, and even grace stepped in
And this man (though a liar) was free with no debt whatsoever.
And that is a lovely story.
We all commend the king for his tremendous grace.
Insurmountable debt
2) INCONCEIVABLE RESPONSE (28-30)
It is totally shocking what this slave does.
(28) “But that slave went out and fond one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’”
Well first we recognize his brutal tactics.
He had simply been summoned before the king,
But he actually “seized” this man “and began to choke him”
And that is brutal enough, until you see the sum.
“owed him a hundred denarii”
A “denarii” was equal to 1 days wages.
Now if we follow the same scale we used a minute ago.
The first slave owed 3 billion
This slave owed $6500
That amount could be paid back in a matter of months.
That was a small loan.
And yet this man is livid about getting the money back.
Now, once again let’s just say this is justice.
The man legitimately owes him the money and he has the right to collect.
It is brutal, but it is justice.
(29) “So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’”
We’ve heard that before haven’t we?
It was the same thing this man had just said to the king.
I mean the response now should be obvious.
(30) “But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.”
This man decided that someone was going to pay the bill,
And it wasn’t going to be him.
And so he forced the debtor to come up with the money instantly.
• Did he have the right? – yes
• Should he have done it? – no
Insurmountable Debt Inconceivable Response
3) IRRITATED KING (31-34)
Not only does this man’s actions grieve you,
But it grieved the other slaves as well.
“So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.”
(32-33) “Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. ‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’”
And I don’t even have to ask you the answer.
You know it.
Of course he should have had mercy.
How can you be forgiven a debt so large
And then begrudge someone else a debt so small?
(34) “And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.”
Now notice this time he isn’t simply being sold, he is being tortured.
And he must repay it all.
• But we already said, it is an incalculable sum.
• Furthermore how does one pay it while being tortured?
THE POINT?
This debt will never be paid, this man will be tortured forever.
NOW, DID HE GET WHAT HE DESERVED?
Of course he did.
How can you be forgiven so much,
And yet begrudge forgiveness for an offense so small?
AND THAT’S THE POINT
How much has God forgiven you of?
Everything.
Everything today or yesterday?
Just everything.
Well, what about what you do in the future?
That too
Would we call that an insurmountable debt?
It is a price we could never pay off.
One sin earns death, and just how many lives do you have to give?
But God, through His tremendous compassion, mercy, and grace
Has chosen to eat the cost Himself and forgive us.
He has chosen to wipe it clean.
Psalms 103:12 “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
Isaiah 38:17 “Lo, for my own welfare I had great bitterness; It is You who has kept my soul from the pit of nothingness, For You have cast all my sins behind Your back.”
Micah 7:19 “He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. Yes, You will cast all their sins Into the depths of the sea.”
That is unbelievable forgiveness.
Now, lay that beside that grudge you’ve been holding over your brother.
“I know God forgave me, but you don’t understand he owes me $1,000”
(Why not make it a million)
“But you don’t understand he cost me my job”
(Why not add falsely accused and put you in prison)
“But you don’t understand…”
NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!
FURTHERMORE GOD DOESN’T UNDERSTAND
How could you be so willing to accept such mercy,
And so unwilling to give any?
I don’t care what they did to you.
It isn’t even close to what you did to God.
As we talked about last Sunday night, God created man in His image
That man would seek and glorify Him.
But man didn’t.
Man wrecked His creation and then killed His Son.
And when God looked at man, let me show you what He saw.
Romans 3:10-18 “as it is written, “THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE; THERE IS NONE WHO UNDERSTANDS,THERE IS NONE WHO SEEKS FOR GOD; ALL HAVE TURNED ASIDE, TOGETHER THEY HAVE BECOME USELESS; THERE IS NONE WHO DOES GOOD,THERE IS NOT EVEN ONE.” “THEIR THROAT IS AN OPEN GRAVE, WITH THEIR TONGUES THEY KEEP DECEIVING,” “THE POISON OF ASPS IS UNDER THEIR LIPS”; “WHOSE MOUTH IS FULL OF CURSING AND BITTERNESS”; “THEIR FEET ARE SWIFT TO SHED BLOOD, DESTRUCTION AND MISERY ARE IN THEIR PATHS, AND THE PATH OF PEACE THEY HAVE NOT KNOWN.” “THERE IS NO FEAR OF GOD BEFORE THEIR EYES.”
Man has wronged God.
And yet God has been merciful.
I love the first part of Ephesians 2
Ephesians 2:1-7 “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”
Colossians 2:13-14 “When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”
That is the forgiveness and mercy of God.
Far more than you will ever have to give to another.
The point is that your brother’s debt is nothing compared to yours.
And if God would forgive us, we owe it to others.
The Exhortation The Illustration
#3 THE APPLICATION
Matthew 18:35
Here is what Jesus wants you to know.
The fate of this man is the fate of all
Who claim to accept forgiveness but who refuse to give it.
“My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”
Forgiveness is not an option.
If God would forgive you requiring the death of His Son,
It is mandatory that you forgive others.
I don’t care what it is.
James 2:13 “For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.”
And please notice what Jesus said, “from your heart”
Jesus doesn’t say, “in your heart” He says “FROM your heart”
Meaning you should want to.
The idea here is that the mercy and forgiveness of God
Should so motivate you that not only are you willing to forgive,
But you should delight in it!
Remember the beatitude?
Matthew 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”
Jesus also taught:
Mark 11:25 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.”
Luke 6:36 “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”
SO WHAT IS THE POINT?
Forgive your brother.
I don’t care what he does or how many times he does it.
Forgive him!
If you won’t, then you obviously have no clue what it is to forgiven,
And according to Jesus you will not enjoy it,
For God will do to you what this king did to his slave.
Forgiveness matters to God
And if Christ’s church is to operate effectively,
Then forgiveness has to happen.
We need humility
We need purity
We need forgiveness
Those are necessary attributes for the church to operate.
These were the essential three that Christ brought up.
And since He is building His church,
Then we had better give what He asks for.
Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
