1 Peter 3:1-7
Here on Sunday nights during our missions month,
We have been looking at submissive evangelism.
You had better put action to your words,
For an unbelieving world will watch.
That being said,
The most effective tool in action a Christian has
Is not strength, but weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:10 “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
JESUS
It was not His strength on earth that wow’s us.
It is His weakness that touches our heart.
So, we have been studying submissive evangelism.
Governing Authorities
Masters
NOW MARRIAGES
This text talks to wives more than husbands…
And there are four truths we will look at for the wives.
#1 EXHORTATION TO WIVES
1 Peter 3:1a
“In the same way”
1 Peter 2:21-25 “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.”
And after pointing out that Jesus:
Was Maligned for no Purpose
Was Meek during Persecution
Was Merciful to Persecutors
Made His Point
Peter reminds wives that they are to follow His example
In regard to their husbands.
And the initial key is “be submissive to your own husbands”
Now, please notice the word “own”.
This is the tool for your own husband.
NOT HOW TO EVANGELIZE SOMEONE ELSE’S
BUT IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT A WIFE SUBMIT TO HER HUSBAND.
It creates healthy marriages
Ephesians 5:22-24 “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”
It trains other women, and honors God’s word
Titus 2:3-5 “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”
And if no other reason, it is commanded by God
Colossians 3:18 “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
But what Peter teaches here is that it is also
The most effective tool you have for witnessing to your spouse.
And that is what we see next.
#2 THE EXPECTATION OF WIVES
1 Peter 3:1b-2
Here again we see Peter sewing up a loop hole.
“I’d submit to him if he gave me something to submit to.”
First off to that let me say, “No you wouldn’t”
Your lack of obedience is no one’s fault but your own.
But beyond that, Peter directly addresses that point.
“even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won”
You see Peter says, you are still to submit,
Only now your submission has a different purpose.
To submit to a godly husband
Is a way to respond in worship and thanksgiving to God.
To submit to an ungodly husband
Is a form of evangelism.
And of course, as we have seen several times already,
It is because your spouse is watching.
“as they observe”
While your husband is watching you, let him observe
“chaste and respectful behavior”
Now the word for chaste means “perfect, pure from every fault, immaculate”
The word for respectful is PHOBOS, remember, it is that behavior changing emotion that always looks ahead to the punishment of doing wrong.
1 Peter 1:17 “If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth;”
SO WHAT IS PETER TALKING ABOUT?
THE BEST TESTIMONY YOU CAN HAVE
THAT YOUR GOD CHANGES LIVES,
IS YOUR CHANGED LIFE.
HOLINESS
Now remember, as we have said, this is possible.
It is commanded.
1 Peter 1:14-16 “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.”
It is possible by yielding to the power of the Holy Spirit in your life.
Galatians 5:16 “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.”
If you do this, then you have his attention.
That is your witness.
You walk in obedience.
Remember what Peter said about evangelizing an enemy.
1 Peter 2:11-12 “Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.”
Wives, you live in fear of God and obey Him,
And it will be your best chance at winning your husband to Jesus.
#3 EXPLANATION TO WIVES
1 Peter 3:3-4
Peter is explaining what he meant by
Making sure your spouse is drawn by your respectful behavior.
As in all Christianity,
There is a right way, and a wrong way to draw someone to salvation.
The wrong way is to try and appeal to the sensual earthly desires of the human flesh and then try to swap them over to God.
That is the wrong way, because you can’t draw anyone.
The right way is to preach the gospel, and do it God’s way, and let Him do the drawing.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5 “And when I came to you, brethren, I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the testimony of God. For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God.”
in the same way,
There is a right way and a wrong way
For you to try to draw your husband to Christianity.
The wrong way is by trying to appeal to his sensual earthly desires of the human flesh.
Namely using your body to attract him, and then swap him over to Jesus.
John 6:44 “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day.”
The right way, as in all other evangelism, is to walk in 100% obedience to God, and allow Him to do the drawing.
This is Peter’s point as he explains what he wants from you wives.
“Your adornment must not be merely external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;”
Now, I do want to clear up two things here.
#1 I am all for a wife looking pretty for her husband.
It will help protect him from fleshly lusts in the world.
This is why Paul said what he did.
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 “Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
My point is ladies,
Do not use this text as a justification
To stop fulfilling your role to your husband.
#2 This does not mean women can’t wear gold or dresses.
Obviously Peter would have wanted them to wear something, and they weren’t going to wear pants.
The key word here is “adornment”
In other words:
WHAT IS THE TOOL THAT YOU USE TO MAKE YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE?
WHAT IS YOUR ADORNING QUALITY?
Do not let your adorning quality be your physical appearance.
One reason of course is because God can’t stand this.
Isaiah 3:16-26 “Moreover, the LORD said, “Because the daughters of Zion are proud And walk with heads held high and seductive eyes, And go along with mincing steps And tinkle the bangles on their feet, Therefore the Lord will afflict the scalp of the daughters of Zion with scabs, And the LORD will make their foreheads bare.” In that day the Lord will take away the beauty of their anklets, headbands, crescent ornaments, dangling earrings, bracelets, veils, headdresses, ankle chains, sashes, perfume boxes, amulets, finger rings, nose rings, festal robes, outer tunics, cloaks, money purses, hand mirrors, undergarments, turbans and veils. Now it will come about that instead of sweet perfume there will be putrefaction; Instead of a belt, a rope; Instead of well-set hair, a plucked-out scalp; Instead of fine clothes, a donning of sackcloth; And branding instead of beauty. Your men will fall by the sword And your mighty ones in battle. And her gates will lament and mourn, And deserted she will sit on the ground.”
1 Timothy 2:9-10 “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.”
Don’t use your body as your adornment, that is detestable in the sight of God.
But the other reason is because
You aren’t trying to draw your husband to you,
You are trying to draw him to God.
So live your life, so as to beautify God, not yourself.
“but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
And notice what Peter says.
“the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit”
YOUNG LADIES – Do Not Flaunt Your Bodies
I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR SKIN
Proverbs 11:22 “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.”
Besides, Looks Fade.
But there is one thing that doesn’t.
“a gentle quiet spirit”
LOOK AT SOME OF THE BEAUTIFUL OLDER WOMEN IN OUR CHURCH
They adorn themselves with a gentle quiet spirit.
And if even that doesn’t seem to work,
Then do it just because that is what God likes.
“which is precious in the sight of God”
Psalms 149:4 “For the LORD takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones with salvation.”
Ladies, use your age defying beauty, that leads them to God.
And then Peter gives an example for you.
#4 EXAMPLE FOR WIVES
1 Peter 3:5-6
A woman whom God named princess.
Genesis 17:17 “Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Will a child be born to a man one hundred years old? And will Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?”
I give you that verse because I want you to see that Sarah was only ten years younger than Abraham.
Genesis 12:11 “It came about when he came near to Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, “See now, I know that you are a beautiful woman;”
Sarah was at least 75
Of course this happens again.
Genesis 20:1,11 “Now Abraham journeyed from there toward the land of the Negev, and settled between Kadesh and Shur; then he sojourned in Gerar…Abraham said, “Because I thought, surely there is no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.”
This occurred only a few months before Isaac was born, and Sarah was 90 when he was born.
Sarah was at least 89 years old, and apparently had not lost her beauty.
BUT WE AREN’T TALKING ABOUT PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
We know her body had changed, for she was past child bearing years.
Yet she was still beautiful at 89
Let’s look at a few characteristics of Sarah
1) HOPED IN GOD
“For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God used to adorn themselves”
2) HUMBLED HERSELF
“being submissive to their own husbands”
3) HONORED ABRAHAM
“just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord,”
WOULD YOU HAVE FOLLOWED THAT DREAMER?
WOULD YOU HAVE TOLD PHARAOH YOU WERE HIS SISTER?
WOULD YOU HAVE DWELT IN TENTS WITH YOUR KIDS?
Sarah knew how to live a godly life.
“you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”
The word for fear here is not PHOBOS, it is PTOESIS, it means “to be frightened”
It is the fear that keeps us from exercising faith in God.
Peter says, don’t give in to that fear. Follow God and obey Him.
#5 EXHORTATION TO HUSBANDS
1 Peter 3:7a
There again, we see this “in the same way”
Peter isn’t tying this back to wives, but back to Jesus.
And the example is probably even more fitting here.
Jesus belittled Himself to a weaker party to show love that wasn’t deserved
There you have it men.
And there are two things husbands are told to do.
1) “live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman;”
DOESN’T MEAN WOMEN AREN’T SMART
(My Sister and the Bathroom) “Rory, let her go, if you do it like that, she’ll never win.”
Husbands, if you don’t show love to your wife,
She will not be able to demand it.
And Peter says, “live with your wives in an understanding way”
In other words, show her love.
Ephesians 5:25-27 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”
Notice what Jesus did.
All the sacrifice He made on behalf of us was so that we could be better.
Jesus loved us into perfection, that is what you do.
2) “show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life”
Now Peter is not talking about the grace of God, or an heir of heaven.
He is talking about “the grace of life”
Meaning the simple rights that are given to a human being.
In Bible times, women weren’t treated equal.
Put her in a status above what she has.
Ephesians 5:28-29 “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,”
We have talked of this before.
(Men love their bodies)
Husbands, you will never lead your wife to Jesus
By forcing her to submit to you.
You show her that you are submitting to Jesus,
And let her follow your lead.
#6 EXPLANATION TO HUSBANDS
1 Peter 3:7b
Now hidden in this last sentence is
An understanding that you are praying for your wife’s salvation.
In the text where women are commanded to properly adorn themselves, Paul also had a word for the men.
1 Timothy 2:8-10 “Therefore I want the men in every place to pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension. Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.”
Now the point is simple.
If you are trying to lead your wife to submit to Jesus,
And you aren’t showing her Jesus as an example,
Then all you are doing is working against your prayers.
Don’t put yourself as a hindrance to their salvation.
If you don’t love her, and honor her, don’t expect her to want to follow the God who has supposedly transformed your life.
Let your submission to God lead them to salvation.
1 Corinthians 9:19-23 “For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I may win more. To the Jews I became as a Jew, so that I might win Jews; to those who are under the Law, as under the Law though not being myself under the Law, so that I might win those who are under the Law; to those who are without law, as without law, though not being without the law of God but under the law of Christ, so that I might win those who are without law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some. I do all things for the sake of the gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it.”
Willingly give up what you could take by force,
So that your wife might also partake in the salvation of God.
It is called submissive evangelism,
And it will work in the home as well as in the office.
Never be afraid to be like Jesus.
Matthew 5:16 “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”
